A few weeks ago I saw a post on Facebook about a three day old baby at a local children's home. She needed clothes and bottles and stuff. I felt moved by the sweet little picture and I decided I would help. I packed up my little girl's old clothes (well not exactly old but stuff she doesn't use anymore...) Anyway I set out to just go and drop off the bag of stuff and go back home having done my good deed of the day. Boy was I in for a surprise...
When I got there there were other ladies who had got there before me holding her making goo goo eyes as does everyone who holds a baby. She was wrapped up in so many blankets and as soon as I saw her tiny little face I was hooked. When my turn came to hold her I had to fight really hard to stop the tears that had welled up in my eyes from flowing. She was so so small, I have never seen a person that small. (My daughter was born big). Her tiny nose overshadowed by big brown curious eyes... awww I can't get the image out of my head. First thing I thought of however was "What if I break her?" and I decided to hand her back to the matron but she was gone. In the half a minute I had been engulfed in the world of Pretty they had all left the room. It was just me and her. Right then I decided to say a prayer for her. I prayed that God would bless her and protect her and guide her through life. I prayed he would keep her from harm and help her grow into a woman who would make a difference in the world. I prayed for the teachers at the schools she's going to go to and the man who's going to marry her. I prayed for it all.
She started whimpering and fussing like she was hungry so I had to look for the matron and ask for her bottle as I fed her I started thinking how unfair it was, she needed her mother she needed to be breastfeeding not suckling off some lifeless plastic teat. I felt so angry , how could anyone give up such a gift? Such a precious precious gift. I asked the matron what happened to the mother but she couldn't give me an answer. Just said that they got the children through social welfare and they were never told their backgrounds. my heart bled for the little angel. I had so many emotions and thoughts I was getting confused, I just decided to myself that no woman would ever willingly leave her child so this one had to have died during labour. She didn't eat much. no surprise there. and was soon yawning contentedly and I started singing and rocking her gently. When she closed her little eyes I felt so proud of myself it was almost as if I had never put a baby to sleep before. Somehow this baby was different. As I put her down in her cot I vowed to come back Who could stay away?
I watched the older children play for a while before I made my way home and they all seemed so happy and carefree yet most of them were orphaned or had been dumped as babies or had their mothers in jail. Yet none of that seemed to stop them from going on with their lives, from seizing the moment and enjoying themselves. they made me look at my own life and the petty things i hold on to that stop me from enjoying my life, they made me realised what an ungrateful B*#%@ I can be.Tears again! I had to fight them off. I made my way home in a daze and that night as i knelt to pray I couldn't stop the tears anymore and I just let them flow. I wept for Pretty, I wept for all the kids at the home I wept for myself and I wept till there were no more tears. It was such an overwhelming experience too much for my fragile heart to bear.
I went back the next weekend, and when i saw Pretty she had grown, she was sooo much bigger and looked nothing like the fragile little baby from the previous week. I was so proud of her as was everyone there. she was still small but much bigger than she had been, i got the honour of feeding her again (maybe something about me makes her hungry) but I didn't get to rock her to sleep. I felt bad for not bringing her anything this time around but i soon got over it, that day's mission had been to treat the older kids any way. I did promise however to go back to see her whenever I could and to help with whatever she needed in whichever way I could.
I have to admit I fell in love with that little girl and the main reason I'm only writing her about her now is because I've been busy lately and haven't had a chance to go back to see her. I actually miss her and I wouldn't mind a day of jumping around and being silly with the older kids either.
