Home sweet home

Yesterday I had a really bad day at work and by the time I got home I was close to tears. I kept going over the day’s events in my head trying to figure out where I had gone wrong. I was very angry with myself, my boss, but most of all with God.

The moment I got into the house Fafie got up from her nap and the sight of her little sleep filled face just thawed my heart. So beautiful and innocent as she called for me to pick her up. At first I thought why can’t she just leave me be to sort out my thoughts and stop bothering me. But she wouldn’t stop calling so I took her in my arms and gave her a hug and she gave me her special little kiss (I don’t know anyone else who kisses with her mouth wide open). Suddenly I felt at peace I smiled with her and her giggles filled the room they also filled my heart, chasing out the darkness.

My evening turned out beautifully. I was laughing and singing and dancing with my baby and having loads of fun. By the time my husband came home I had completely forgotten about my bad day. I only remembered later when I had put Fafie to bed and we started talking about how our day had been (we can’t do much talking when she’s awake) but all the anger I had felt earlier was gone. It was as if I was recalling an incident that had happened ages ago.

As I fell asleep last night I realised that I shouldn’t be angry at God. I realised that I had lots of other things going for me and that a bad day at work would never over shadow them. I realised that I should be grateful that He knew the devil would occasionally mess with my head and that work would at some point give me stress. He knew all this so in His infinite wisdom He created a place for me to go after that bad day. A home filled with love, with laughter with joy. A home where I can go to forget all my cares. A home where I can let loose and be me in the craziest way I know how. There I can feel God’s love through my daughter’s heart. And I know that I’m doing something right in my life. Thank God for home