Letter to my MOTHER

Dear Mama,

It's been a while since you've been gone. Eight whole years. I have so much to say to you and I don't even know where to start. Me and the boys are ok though we miss you . We were all so young when you left and we've done plenty of growing since then so I thought I should fill you in on everything you and Daddy have missed.

Taku is a man now Mama, he even has a wife lol. He got married last week and it was so beautiful. I haven't seen him that happy in ages. He was dancing and singing and smiling so much everyone else had no choice but to follow suit. Oh and he looked good too. You would have been so proud. I know I was. I spent half the day fighting back the tears because I wanted so badly for you to see your eldest son do good.  He got his Uni degree, got himself an awesome job and is rising up in the world. Oh Mama I wish you were here.

Then there's me! Mama I'm all grown up. I found someone crazy enough to marry me and we have a little girl. She's the spitting image of her father and shes so adorable. How i wish you could meet your first grandchild and watch her grow, spoil her and shower her with love. I wish you could be here to do all those things you wanted to do with me but never got the chance. She likes dresses and make up so I know you two would have made great friends. I also had a wedding a few years back and little Tanya made a speech that made me cry buckets on my big day.  Everyone says i'm starting to look like you and though my husband never got to meet you he is convinced I behave the same way you did. I'm still trying to find my place in the world and something tells me i'm close.

Oh Mama your beloved Kuda has come a long way. He's not as adorable as you may remember but he is still just as headstrong. His voice is so deep now I know you would be so surprised. Don't worry though he can still sing. He's a chef by profession and though he's still in school he's started his own business. He looks so much like Daddy and so does Taku. When he laughs really hard he loses his voice and all you see are the tears running down his cheeks just like you did. Guess we know who inherited your sense of humor. Ok maybe we all did but he got most of it.

And where do I even begin to describe your baby... Little Tanya is not so little anymore. Sixteen years old now and gosh he is tall. He makes the rest of us feel really short. His voice is also really deep now and I fear its going to become worse. I'm pleased to say he still looks like me - yes I finally admit it, ndakazozvionawo ndega. He's in high school  now and he's acing it. Oh Mama you would be so proud. Sometimes I think of him and I just cry because he was only in grade two and I don't think he remembers you much. He hardly talks about you but I know he misses you. I just pray that he never forgets and I will try my best to make sure he doesn't. Good news is he isn't as naughty as he was back then in fact i think he's turning into quite the gentleman. Yes he has his moments but they are few and far between. I'm sure he will grow into the man you wanted him to be and so much more. I know he will make us all proud.

All four of us- 2009

God has been kind to us Mama. He has not left nor forsaken us. Our lives would have crashed and burned had He not kept watch over us. You left us in very capable hands - Aunt Flo has tried her best to keep us all in check. And though I know she can never take your place she has done her very best to fill your shoes yet she has never once tried to replace you in our hearts. Don't worry about us Mama we're doing fine. You raised us right and we're going to make you proud. Memories of you is all we have left and we shall forever cherish them. I know there are going to be more of these "I wish you were here"  moments. I know there will be days where I wont be able to hold back the tears. I know there will be moments when I feel like I cant go on. But I also know I'll be okay, we all will. We love you Mama and we always will.

Your little Girl
Nyasha